Rising Above the Fog

I recently had a conversation with a few people regarding someone else. They had their takes on the guy...and to be quite honest... they felt they had him all figured out...that they knew the low down on the dude. It was a weird moment...maybe you've had one like this yourself...as they talked convincingly about this guy...I sat there knowing they were flat out, dead wrong!!! They didn't know what they were talking about...there was so much more to the story...yet they spoke as if they had it all nailed down. Now the tension begins. What do I say and how do I say it? Now, honestly, depending on my mood, I may not say a thing (except in my mind) and just leave knowing they don't have a clue or I tactfully share the truth of the matter. If the situation is vital to the person in question...I will speak...and usually very clearly & detailed, to bring truth into the discussion. What's weird is... many times... people don't want to hear the truth. In fact they are so convinced of 'their story'...they can't back off it when given the facts of the matter. How weird is that? People seem to enjoy the fog of rumor...gossip... half truth...distortion...and exaggeration? Why do we like the self delusion? Usually we get bits & pieces of info...or rumor...and then the "phone game" begins...it gets passed on with a little extra...with a little twist...with a little forgotten detail. Then the next person gets it and the same thing happens...and they tell 2 friends...and they tell 2 friends and so on and so on and so on. One day they'll sit with a guy like me, and the person's name will come up...and "blah" they barf up the "info" they got...and now the distortion lives on. It's like they are living in the Matrix of gossip...where their story is right no matter what...even though it is totally detached from reality? I'm sure we've all done it. I'm sure it has happened to each of us as well. In this situation it was pretty slandering...the dude was a candidate for a big opportunity...and these 2 people shared what they "knew". Well guess what, they were not only wrong...but actually had most of it backwards? The guy was being labeled as a malcontent...someone who was disruptive...not a team player...a loose cannon etc... In actuality, I knew the situation first hand, and knew 2 others involved personally. The situation was in short, one of where, the guy...let's call him Sven...asks some crucial questions respectfully in a board meeting situation...and the lead guy blasts him in front of everyone. Now this was the most recent of several of these "blasting" moments...so as Sven raised the issues of "integrity lacking" in how things were being handled...he was blasted again. Finally, Sven walked out of the meeting, never to return. Later 2 others left the same "board" over the same issues, though they sucked it up and didn't walk out (though they wanted to). Anyway, this kind of stuff happens in church...in businesses...in organizations and even families. I suppose, when ever people are involved "stuff" may hit the fan. Well the problem wasn't what "hit the fan" but how it was reported afterwards. The lead guy makes it known that Sven was not submitted...rebellious...not a team player. Well, away the rumors go. The sad part was, in this case, Sven was the noble one...attempting to point out error appropriately to the "lead guy" who WAS out of line...and had been functioning out of line for some time to the detriment of the board's effectiveness. So why do I share this. I suppose this is a vivid example of what commonly happens due to rumor...gossip...backbiting and the like. In order to cover "our bad", we make some else the "bad". The bible speaks strongly about gossip...it says it is like the sin of murder. Whoa, murder! Think about it, when you kill someone, you can't take it back...what's done is done...the damage is permanent. The same with gossip and rumor, once it's spoken, the damage spreads like a disease...and you can't stop it, contain it, or correct it. The damage is permanent...and ever growing. It may cost someone their reputation...a job...an opportunity... relationships...and even peace of mind. A old Jewish parable speaks of a man taking a pillow case to the town square and cutting it open as the feathers fly where the wind should take them. When the man returns, the wise rabbi tells him to now go back and collect all the feathers and put them back in the pillow. The man protests that it was impossible to do so. The rabbi agrees and then says "the same result applies to your words...you cannot take them back...so be careful where you spread them." The bible also speaks of how hard it is to "tame the tongue"...because it is like "a spark in a dry forest"...you can't contain it and it's damage. Yet our culture...and yes even church culture is included...rumor...gossip...half truths...back biting... innuendo's...and wild fires are everywhere. Relationships are being hindered...destroyed...and left in ashes. Some say, well what I said was the truth, so it's OK. They think under the guise of speaking the "truth" they are free to say as they please regardless of the impact on others. First, you "think" it's true, isn't the same as being "the truth". Second, gossip can be the truth used to harm someone else. Let's realize most importantly that God is not pleased with our excuses. Why? Because He values relationships above all else...and gossip destroys relationships between people...and harms our relationship with God as well. Our culture embraces tabloid entertainment...a culture of gossip...so many of us live it as well. Yet at ECHO we realize God strongly warns about our "idle words"...the words that flow off our tongues...the destruction of gossip. God's heart is that we rise above the fog of the lowlands...the lowlands of gossip... rumor...exaggeration...lies. If we valued each other as much as God did, we would protect and cover the failures of others...and be very, very, very careful to not speak what we don't "know"...regardless of "who we heard it from".

I heard someone speaking yesterday about an event in someones life that happened 10 years ago...and they spoke as if it happened last week? What made it worse, they had so much of the info wrong...and they did not even know it...yet "their version" of the story lives on. At ECHO we desire to honor, cover and protect people...in how we speak about them...as Jesus would...honorably and in truth. If we don't "know first hand"; then our mouths should remain shut. If the "truth" harms, I am slow to speak it. Most importantly, as followers of Jesus, we are to live in the light of Truth...not half baked stories rooted in the rumor mill.

Consider this: Noah was a drunk; Abraham was too old and had a son by a woman who was not his wife; Isaac was a daydreamer; Jacob was a liar; Leah was ugly; Joseph was abused; Moses killed a man and stuttered and doubted God; Gideon was afraid; Samson had long hair and had a weakness for the ladies; Jeremiah and Timothy were too young; David had an affair with another's man's wife and then had him killed to cover it up; Elijah was suicidal; Isaiah preached naked; Jonah ran from God and God's plans for him; Naomi was a widow; Job went bankrupt; Hosea married a known prostitute; Peter denied Jesus and had some anger issues; the disciples fell asleep while praying; Martha worried about everything; the Samaritan woman was divorced multiple times; Zacceus was too small and made a habit of ripping people off; Mary Magdalene was a prostitute; Paul was a very zealous religious person who was overly legalistic; and Lazarus was dead...yet God used em all. Now do you think we could spread some rumors about these folks if we wanted to? Oh ya...and some of it is true...juicy stuff...and think of the twists and exaggerations we could add to make them all look like sleaze bags. Yet God used each of these "flawed" people to help change the world. At ECHO we believe God used them as examples for us today...that God can use anybody, regardless of what you "think about them" and regardless of "what they may have done". It seems God's criteria is very different than ours doesn't it? The bible says we only see "through the glass dimly"...God see's through clearly. We get blinded by the "fog" of gossip, rumor and perception...God cuts through it. Perhaps God is not afraid of the mess of our lives (as we are) and see's right through the "fog" to the real us. At ECHO...we call that "good news"...as does Jesus by the way!
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be God's!

Brian O

Lead Pastor dude, ECHO